May 1, 2013 § Leave a comment
Recently, my hubby and I went for some marriage counselling. It was a one-off session, with a counsellor who had not met us before.
When hearing about our lives and challenges of the past 18 months; new baby, seriously ill baby, five children, the financial pressure all this entails, she kind of suggested that we are burnt out. Exhausted.
Which we probably are. Definitely exhausted, at least.
But when we discussed the activities that Sol or I do on top of all of this – me; editing the Sydney home birth magazine, trying to run a crafty business and working one day a week running a Playgroup – and Sol; a bit of massage or theta healing work on the side or music gigs and song development and practice…. well, she implied that we should suspend these activities to give ourselves a break.
On the surface this seems to be very sage advice. I totally agree that sometimes in life we just need to ‘tread water’ for a while. There are cycles and timing to everything.
However one thing Sol and I agree on is that to suspend these creative activities is not the right move for us, for a few reasons. Practically: we are pushing 40. We had kids before careers. If we don’t sow the seeds for our desired careers now, maybe they won’t happen. Five kids, including a baby. It’s not really going to get much easier for quite a while, is it? May as well go for it as much as we can now.
Financially: we need to evolve in this way as the family grows. The only way we know how to do this is to go after what we love to do, and develop that. We are both creative people. It was never going to be a mainstream career for Sol, that is part of what I love about him. It’s first things first: creating happiness (and wealth will follow).
On a deeper level, it is about vision. And purpose. Sol and I need the vision of the big picture. We need to be in touch with our individual, God-given purpose. Otherwise, what is the point? If we were to stop the activities we love, stop growing and challenging ourselves, we would lose hope. As stressful as all the time juggling, sleep deprivation, and chaos at home can be, it is worth it when Sol walks through the door on a high from his successful gig. Or when I hold the first magazine in my hands that I have brought together, finally thinking of myself as a ‘writer’.
The ‘vision’ gives us the framework for our lives. It is the way we strive to live now.
November 15, 2012 § 1 Comment
Hubby and I had a rare chance for a weekend alone… well, almost alone. Robin is still fully breastfed so he came with us, but having just one kid out of five is definitely a holiday!
Reef Beach can only be accessed by bushwalking…. something Sol and I have done together from the beginning. Swimming in the ocean is a spiritual experience for me. I could have stayed in all day. Wildlife score: saw a stingray just two feet in front of me!
Storm clouds rolled over. We began walking, hoping to make the car before the rain began. About 150 huge steps between us and the car…. needless to say we didn’t make it. Somehow managed to keep Robin fairly dry but the rest of us was soaked and it felt great to just let go and get wet.
We are new to hotel staying…. so every time feels like winning the lottery of luxury. This hotel was the best yet… we walked to the Quay for a sunset backdropped dinner and watched a huge cruise liner reverse out of Sydney Harbour. We passed people in bars, drinking and eating oysters after work. I had a momentary twinge… knowing it had been so long since I did anything as carefree with my time or money.
The bath, perched just next to the window on the 26th floor, provided the perfect end to the evening. I turned off the lights and let the glow of the city provide the ambience.
Next day, Sol had to work so I strapped the baby on and visited the MindBodySpirit Festival. It was so much fun and I met an old friend who gave me a much needed energetic healing treatment. On the way home, walking through the city I suddenly thought: no one who knows me knows where I am right now.
It was the most delicious feeling of independence and freedom, a rare moment for me these days.