A sense of Community

September 6, 2013 § 1 Comment

I have had a bit of a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

I love being connected to friends I don’t see face to face anymore. I enjoy giving people little glimpses into my world. And I have developed acquaintances into friends through Facebook.

Sometimes I worry about privacy and posting photos of my children, data collection and ‘Big Brother’. I have been bullied on Facebook. I have censored myself at times, afraid of what certain people may think of me.

About the time Robin was born I made a radical decision: I gave permission to be myself. In my experience, especially with this blog but also on Facebook, the more I let my vulnerabilities show, the more I feel my community around me in a loving way.

Robin began walking this week. It felt as big an achievement as man first walking on the moon! At just on eighteen months, he has taken his time. We have had concerns regarding his development and growth ever since his illness, and although we do see development occurring (slowly), this walking milestone feels so significant: a concrete achievement that allay some of my fears and bring Robin closer to being just a normal toddler.

Robin2

As he recovered from the acute symptoms of his illness late last year, I thought it was over. It has been a shock to realise that we are still facing consequences from his illness over one year down the track. I often feel sadness at the thought that I have missed out on many of the joys of babyhood with Robin, but what is now stronger is the deep resolve to support him in whatever way necessary.

I’ve shared much of his journey with my Facebook community. When we first went to hospital, it took me a couple of weeks to reveal where we were, and the serious nature of his illness. The prayers, well wishes and messages people wrote kept me going at some very dark moments. They literally did. I read them and re-read for months afterwards.

Now, when I post that he is walking, or growing, or doing well, I get lots of ‘likes’. I feel my community there with us, sharing our journey through both the ups and downs. Sometimes I think that I am giving others as much as they give me by inviting them to share our journey.

And I think: this is how it should be. So right now, I love Facebook for allowing me to feel part of a community in a very modern way

 

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§ One Response to A sense of Community

  • Liz says:

    I see your ability to accept your vulnerabilities and share all experiences, the joyful and the challenging, as admirable. I would love to be able to “let go” and reach out to that community that you say has kept you going too. It’s the fear of judgments and worthiness of our own experiences in the eyes of others, that holds me back. I feel that I share a lot of daily emotions, struggles and similar joys, with you Kirrilee..and thoroughly enjoy reading your blogs. Alot of my own vulnerabilities are shared with no one. I have always thought that girls with sisters could share their deepest thoughts with each other, and as I don’t have a sister, I missed out on this relationship… but now that I have a daughter, and 3 sons, I feel I owe it to her to teach her to nourish her relationships with friends, especially other girls, as never sharing ones vulnerabilities with others can have damaging consequences on self worth.
    Thankyou for sharing your journey, and Robins… community is soooo important when you are a mother. I am lucky to now have a great community of families at Hawkesbury Independent School… and I will continue to enjoy reading your blog. xx

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