A meditation.

July 27, 2013 § Leave a comment

I am in a field.

An endless field, surrounded by peaked mountains in the distance. The feeling is free, yet safe and enclosed. The sun’s rays inhabit every molecule of air and waves of wind are rushing across the long grasses.

As I turn around there are a pile of boulders behind me. I am drawn closer, and discover an opening between them. I enter, and the darkness is quick to surround me as I descend stairs cut into rock.

At the bottom there is a kind of doorway, though with no actual door. I step into a new scene, a new field, like I have just changed levels in a shopping mall. In this view however, a small brook runs, with willow trees dipping their arching branches into the edges of the water. Eagles fly high overhead, and there is an expansiveness to the sky. But I must follow the water.

It leads to an open cave that faces the river. Rock walls and a high rock ceiling surround a comfortable area. There is a pile of furs on the ground and a crackling fire. Immediately I sink into the furs and warm up beside the flames, all the while feeling a gentle breeze on my face and seeing the gurgling rush of the brook. Behind me there are pictures on the wall: ancient, primal scenes of animals, shelters, and hands.

And suddenly there is a figure….a woman, older. She wears native american dress and has a distinctive nose, and deep, dark, endless eyes. Her energy is strong, yet compassionate. In a rush my troubles spill out….not through my speaking voice, but mind voice. She hears it all with an almost imperceptible nod of acknowledgement. She carries a staff decorated with feathers and leather thonging. Her hair is long and graying. I know I trust her, and love her.

I lie for a while, knowing this place is just for me and letting myself feel nurtured by this sacred space. I notice crystal clusters here and there around the space. I know there is a bruise over my heart and so with my mind I focus the crystal energy down to dissolve it. The process brings such a deep sadness to my awareness that I almost cannot continue.

The the woman’s voice speaks inside my mind….telling me how it will be, providing answers and reminding me of my gifts of strength and intuition. I can’t recall the exact words, but I know the memory of them is there, deep inside. I know I have been changed by this encounter.

It is time to leave. I don’t wish to, but I must. I reluctantly leave the furs and fire, following the brook back to the stone staircase. I ascend slowly, knowing that each step brings me closer to my reality, to my perceived ‘problems’ and anxiety, to the responsibilities that sometimes sit so heavy. I know rather than feel that healing has begun.  How many more times will I visit this place before my smile is less slow to shine?

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