July 3, 2013 § Leave a comment

It is time to check-in.

School holidays have come around again and I am keen not to repeat the chaos and slump of the last holidays, which I wrote about here. Throughout the term I identified a few things which needed to be put in place for me to be the powerful, organised, all-serene keystone-of-the-family that I aspire to be. In a nutshell they were:

1. Good energy levels thru sleep and dietary changes.

2. Lots of structured time to re charge

3. Routines and rhythms = organisation.

So, how am I going?

Well….I’m wobbling. It was all going great, until the final week of term, my busiest of 2013. We had to make a huge decision regarding our eldest son’s future by Monday. The decision was made, but I was too busy and heartbroken to deal with it immediately. We all know how draining it can be to carry around sadness without release.

At Playgroup, we hold a very special Winter Festival event in the final week of term, where we host a spiral walk for our families. Much preparation goes into this day, and it is nerve racking performing a special winter story (that I wrote myself. It went great, by the way).

I also had three children attending the overnight Winter Festival event at their school. That is three children to wash clothes for, label clothes for, pack sleeping bags and parkas….. oh, and each class asks for a contribution to their meals. One of my kids has allergies so cooking for him at least was essential.

And, my felt piece Flower/Vagina was due at the gallery in Redfern by Friday. Add to that a very sick husband who was bedridden all week, and you may get a sense of how insanely full that week was.

One of the legacies of Robin’s illness for me was a lowered threshold for overwhelm. For many months, even the deadline of getting the kids to school by 9am had me waking up in terror throughout the night. In January this year, I felt I walked free from that shroud of mental overwhelm, leaving all ties to Robin’s illness finally in the past.

As this past week progressed, I gradually recognised, with a sinking feeling, that familiar old feeling of terror.

To be continued……..


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